tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-199076112024-03-14T07:11:20.595+00:00Scribbles from TenerifeA foreign resident of the Spanish holiday island of Tenerife picking up the reigns of his long lost blog. It failed to help him stop smoking, so now he uses it as an occasional place to put the silly stuff that doesn't fit in the 'proper' things he writes.Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-77428725988079187872010-09-13T23:52:00.000+01:002010-09-13T23:52:59.495+01:00The Point of a Lifetimethe point of a lifetime<br />
its purpose and aims <br />
just fitted<br />
into a 20kg suitcase<br />
and flew off <br />
to university<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1690524490053914942009-10-13T18:36:00.002+01:002009-10-13T20:11:44.979+01:00Having a Blog is like having a Rash<span style="font-family: arial;"></span><span style="font-family: arial;">I thought I had managed to stop scratching when I stopped writing this blog, but all the while it itched.<br />
<br />
</span><span style="font-family: arial;">Whenever I see something silly, I itch to post.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: arial;">Or if I see something quite normal that strikes me in a silly way... the itch comes back.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: arial;">Whenever a Google search pops up with this blog... the fingers twitch.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: arial;">And when my ‘professional’ writing goes way off topic... </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: arial;">So here I am. Back again. I'm here for a jolly good scratch.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: arial;">Just occasionally.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1142295826521915952006-03-14T00:21:00.000+00:002006-09-17T15:00:51.103+01:00addicted to the hard stuff<span style="font-family: arial;">I haven’t posted for a while now. It’s been hard… I’ve been dealing with this new… addiction.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">I had heard people talk about it, you know, half heard the word mentioned, never really paid attention. I never thought I’d be sucked in.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">It was my wife who started me off. She gave me one, said it was easy. And she was right, it was. But she didn’t warn me that the little bit of a mind kick it gave me would leave me wanting more. The next one was a bit harder, and the kick was even bigger. After that, I was just hooked. I haven’t slept. It has taken over my life. I’m just chasing harder and harder stuff.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">So if anyone ever whispers to you, “Pssst… wanna bit of Sudoku?” </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Just say “NO!”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;" class="furltag"><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Sudoku" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Sudoku"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=addiction" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for addiction"></a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1141596373564329032006-03-05T21:41:00.000+00:002006-03-11T12:34:57.380+00:00Carnival at last!<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">AAAARGH </span></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Having a war with Flickr, Blogger and god knows what.<br /><br />So no pics.<br /></span><br />effing techbloodynology<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1141586692923298282006-03-05T19:22:00.000+00:002006-03-17T03:27:47.096+00:00Please steal my car<span style="font-family:arial;">I hate my car. But shhh… it’s a secret. Both my wife and my daughter have been complaining about it since… well, since I bought it about six years ago, and I have been defending its existence. Six years ago, when we arrived in Gran Canaria (our first Canarian island), the plan was different. We were lifestyle refugees from the City of London. We’d precociously lived the life of big jobs, big houses and big cars. It hadn’t made us happy. So when I bought this car, we were rebelling against the land of walnut dashboards and heated calf hide seats. My ambition was to run a book shop with a hammock in the back. So after a few months of holidaying, we decided that we were going to live in Fuerteventura. And I needed the right car for the environment.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">At that time, Fuerteventura was an island where goats outnumbered Majoreros (the local inhabitants). We were aiming to live in a sleepy town surrounded by glorious beaches. The town had very little to offer beyond the surrounding natural beauty. A few shops, a few bars and a few hotels on whose guests the local economy was based. The citizens were an eclectic bunch. There were the surfer dudes with their bleached blonde hair who wandered about the town barefoot with their boards under their arms. There were the local tradesmen: Indians sold electronics, Majoreros had supermarkets and Europeans had clothes shops. And there were the tourists. I think there was one mechanic. And this is what defined my choice of car. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">In choosing the car, I remembered a story from my childhood, about the president of Bangladesh. Back in the 1970’s, shortly after gaining independence from Pakistan, the new president decided to buy himself a fleet of white Mercedes. He even built a lovely new dual carriageway to drive them on. My father worked in Bangladesh at the time, and I remember us bumping along on the normal, potholed roads until suddenly we reached this smooth piece of tarmac, so different from everything else in the country. For years I thought it was called a ‘Jewel Carriageway’, and imagined it had been built to bear carriages laden with diamonds and gold. Obviously driving up and down this road proved limiting for the president and eventually he was forced to drive his cars on the rest of the ‘road’ system. One by one, each car in his shiny fleet broke down. A process of cannibalisation for parts kept others on the road for a while, but not long. Within just 12 months he was in a Toyota, like the rest of us, because that was the only type of spare part you could buy. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">So I looked about the Fuerteventuran streets and the most common type of vehicle was a hybrid Renault van. Of course it is very different if you go there now. Both cars and population have changed dramatically. The goats and Majoreros now find themselves outnumbered by two newer groups. There are the sub-Saharan Africans. Desperate for a new life, they have risked all and crossed the seas in rickety boats, called pateras, to reach this remotest outpost of the European milk and honey Union. The other group is made up of comparatively affluent Northerners, who have crossed the seas in rickety charter aircraft for their short spell under the equatorial sun. Their risk only comes from the avaricious estate agents who are hastily carving up the island, mandated by corrupt mayors, eager to flog off their legacy. So now the locals have each traded in the land their families owned, for brand new Mercedes, and they will cruise the streets swankily until their money runs out. Then we can expect a local glut of second hand luxury cars.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">But two islands later I still have my Renault jalopy. Having bored of the shop / hammock scenario, we have come to Tenerife, the most commercial of the islands to dip a cautious toe back into the real world. It’s not going to be the fully fledged high pressure, high stakes City of London life that we rejected. Nor is it to be the flaky, flip flop wearing Fuerteventuran opt out. Something in between. Some moderation. And my daughter and my wife have raised the volume and frequency of their complaints. Loathe to shell out for a new vehicle when I spend a maximum of forty minutes a day behind the wheel, I have been defending my car on the grounds of economy. It’s cheap to run. It never goes wrong. Well, it never went wrong.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Then last month I had to replace the gearbox. And the clutch. And last week it was wheel bearings. And two days ago the starter motor went, so I have to park on top of hills and roll down to start it again, until the mechanic has time to mend it. And with all that I have spent in the last month, I could have bought another car. I may have to admit that the car should go. But the more they complain, the more stubborn I get. However I am now at a point where my contempt for the car exceeds my stubbornness. I have taken to leaving the doors unlocked and the windows open when I park it. If someone would kindly steal it, then my problems would be solved. But even the thieves here have more taste. So now it’s time to eat some humble pie, suck up my pride and look for another ride. </span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1141174951202848212006-03-01T00:50:00.000+00:002006-03-03T13:37:13.976+00:00Off to the CARNIVAL!<span style="font-family:arial;">Shrove Tuesday – a day off – Yay! Forget the pancakes… this is CARNIVAL! Of course carnival here is not just a one day event. The whole thing takes months of preparation. Seamstresses slave, burning the midnight oil to make extravagant costumes; bands and dancers practice and prance for endless hours; drag queens mince and pout till their eyelashes can flutter no more. The whole of Tenerife is a hive of carnival activity.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The main procession is at 4pm. It’s 3pm now. I look in the mirror, anticipating the metamorphosis about to take place. The precedent for carnival costumes is a noble one, dating back to the 13th century Venetians, with their elegant masks. Tradition weighs heavy as I survey my reflection and ready my mind. A deep breath, eyes shut, head bowed. I feel positively thespian. And then it is done. Head erect, once again. Slowly I open my eyes to inspect… I smile. Perfect. My wig is green, bright and very, very frizzy.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">We jump in the car. As I turn the ignition a large raindrop splats on the windscreen. My wife and I look at each other and silently agree that we have just witnessed a joint hallucination. It was not rain. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">We drive off. Santa Cruz is an hour away. Splat, splat. I drive faster, but the splats are following us. Eventually I give in to reality and turn on the windscreen wipers. Just because it is raining in the South, does not mean it is raining in the North. I should win medals for my optimism.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/carnival%20procession%201.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/320/carnival%20procession%201.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;">Then we stop. We all stop. And start. And stop. It’s already 5pm and we’re stuck. We weren’t expecting our first procession of the day to be here, on the motorway. And the splats have turned into one large, continuous splosh. But we are in carnival mood and the in-car atmosphere is still jolly.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">5:30pm. We have advanced a further 500m. The conversation has turned to Christian festivals. Carnival is a precursor to lent. We start to get into theology. Two atheists, one ex-catholic, the other ex-orthodox and we’re debating about the modern protestant perception of Christianity. Obviously we’re both experts.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">5:40pm. We’ve stopped debating. Now we’re arguing. Both of us have changed sides at least three times and we’re getting into repetition. We decide to phone a protestant to ask them. We scroll through the phone’s memory. Stupidly, I have neglected to record anyone’s religion. After this failure to call a witness to the stand, we lapse into silence.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/carnival%202.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/320/carnival%202.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;">5.50pm. We see the saddest person in the world. We both feel deeply sympathetic. He is a policeman standing forlornly by the road and he has been given a little red flag to wave. We imagine him, only this morning, showing up bright and eager to perform his civic duty on a carnival day. He is given a little red flag, and he looks forward to a busy day of self-important flag waving. Perhaps directing carnival floats, or waggling his little flag at over exuberant revellers. Perhaps he even phoned his wife excitedly, to tell her that he had been given his own flag to wave at carnival. She was probably so proud. And then they deposited him beside the rainy motorway, miles from the carnival. All by himself. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">6:30pm. Finally we arrive in Santa Cruz, having been diverted onto a winding country road, due to an unforeseen puddle on the motorway. We drive into the centre of the city, and suddenly our luck changes. We find a parking place less than 50 metres from the carnival route.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">6:35pm. We are told the carnival has been postponed due to bad weather.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">6:40pm. On the way back south. My wife consoles me. There’s more carnival on Saturday and Sunday… and then the Carnival comes south soon. I will still get to wear my rather dashing green, frizzy wig. I smile back weakly and ask if I can also have a little red flag.</span><span class="technoratitag"><span class="delicioustag"><br /><span class="furltag"><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Santa+Cruz+carnival" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Santa Cruz carnival"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Santa+Cruz+carnaval" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Santa Cruz carnaval"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Carnival" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Carnival"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=humour" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for humour"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Tenerife+Carnival" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Tenerife Carnival"></a></span><br /></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1140645941420329612006-02-22T21:35:00.000+00:002007-03-18T16:27:25.340+00:00Losing weight by eating more<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />Well nothing has worked so far. As we draw close to the end of February, I have been singularly unsuccessful at becoming an alcoholic. You may remember, from <a href="http://tenerifescribbler.blogspot.com/2006/01/how-to-give-up-smoking-in-tenerife.html">my 2006 health plan</a>, that I was supposed to be entirely dependent on alcohol by this point in the year. Alcohol was to replace the food, after my January of gluttony. And the food was replacing the nicotine. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/black-widow.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/200/black-widow.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Oh, yes, I believe in nursery rhymes… I swallowed the spider to eat the fly. But now I can’t stop eating spiders (well not REAL spiders, obviously. That would be icky. I mean METAPHORICAL spiders – the ones that taste like bacon sandwiches and seconds of jam roly poly). <br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;">I just can’t stop eating at all. My attempts to replace food with alcohol have failed dismally, largely because of my limited opportunities for inebriation. They tend to frown at dribbling behind desks in an alcoholic stupor at my workplace. Very uncivilised. I knew I should have become a lawyer. </span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />To cap it all, a couple of days ago I was offered my dream job: Restaurant Critic! Ok, it’s part time (1 restaurant a week), and the pay is in … er food. But who cares? I get to eat at the best restaurants regularly, and for the cost of only 500 words a meal. After describing the décor and ambience, that’s only 100 words a course! As you would expect, I accepted in a dignified manner (fell to my knees and wept with pleasure). I can hardly wait for my first mission… hopefully no one tells them about the <a href="http://tenerifescribbler.blogspot.com/2006/02/valentines-dinner.html">Valentine’s dinner debacle</a>. </span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />My wife was unimpressed when I bounded (wobbled) home with the news. I was too elated to listen much, but I recognised the odd word like ‘cholesterol’ and ‘not coming to your funeral’. Anyway, the eventual upshot is that I have promised to go on a diet, or else I am only allowed to review salads. </span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />So I have been pondering deeply about this diet. It’s obvious that conventional diets are not going to work with me. I get hungry too often, and I’m damned if I’m going to eat cottage cheese and celery. I have taken a brief peep at the Atkins diet, but spotting which bits on the plate are carbohydrates is going to be too complicated for me. And looking at the list of banned foods… nah. <br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;">And then I hit upon it! All these diets are aimed at reducing energy input. And everyone recommends doing exercise in order to burn up the energy. Well, what is needed is obviously a way of eating that uses up more energy than I consume! For instance, chewing gum: lot’s of chewing, not a lot of calorie intake. It’s like exercising while eating. And what else makes you sweat when you eat?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/hot-chilli-medium.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/200/hot-chilli-medium.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> Chilli! Eat some hot chillies and all that sweating must burn off bucket loads of energy. And the more chilli you eat… the more weight you must lose! So that’s the basis of my new dietary plan. I will add chilli to absolutely everything (except when I’m doing restaurant reviews: those chefs can be sensitive types). And then I will eat as much as possible. The pounds will drip off me.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Now the hottest chillies in the world are scotch bonnets. <span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">(<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotch_bonnet">Wikipedia</a>: these peppers are known to cause dizziness, numbness of hands and cheeks, and severe heartburn). They don’t grow in Tenerife (or at least there’s no one mad enough to grow them). </span></span>You are advised to wear gloves before handling them. But these little babies are gorgeous, and surely worth at least 1kg of weight loss each. And I have a bag of them in my freezer… Tally ho!</span></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br /><br />Post Script:</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">Shit! Only 2 scotch bonnets left in freezer! No one stocks any real killer chillies here. I have looked everywhere. I have <a href="http://www.secret-tenerife.com/2006/02/carnaval-on-busses.shtml#comments">asked everyone I know</a>. Normally I have scotch bonnets smuggled in for me, but my supplier’s not coming out for a while. So this is a quick shout out to any trans-atlantic smugglers trafficking to Tenerife: forget the cocaine… that’s for wimps. Go for GLORY: smuggle scotch bonnets. Will swap for surplus of calabaza jam. Oh and, er… wear gloves.</span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1140301013117173302006-02-18T21:55:00.000+00:002006-06-21T12:39:03.280+01:00Shopping in Tenerife<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><i style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;">I just wrote an article on shopping in the Canaries for a magazine (yes, I do sensible writing, too, and people even pay me!). The Canaries is a special tax zone, so stuff here can be a lot cheaper than the rest of Europe. In the article I was looking at the retail experience on the <st1:place st="on">Canary Islands</st1:place>, and I started to look at the different types of shops here.<span style=""> </span>The international chains, the multitude of electronics shops, the Moroccan bazaars… and then there were the shops owned, managed and run by islanders, that come from a different retail tradition.<span style=""> </span>I had to edit the whole chunk out because it just wasn’t suitable… but in the spirit of recycling etc, I’ll paste it in here… <span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" >Don’t expect these indigenous businesses to have the entrepreneurial initiative that you might be used to, by opening at times when you are likely to want to go shopping, or even displaying their stock so you know what they have.<span style=""> </span>Oh, no.<span style=""> </span>Canarian shopkeepers don’t enjoy over contamination of customers.<span style=""> </span>More customers means more sales, more ordering stock, more cleaning up, more serving … it all hardly bears thinking about.<span style=""> </span>These shops close religiously for the ‘mediodia’, at 1.30 or 2pm, and re-open after a relaxed lunch and siesta at 4.30 or 5pm when they stay open for another three hours or so.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" >You see, to a great extent, shops here come from a tradition of considering themselves as performing a public service.<span style=""> </span>Every time they flipped the sign on the door to ‘abierto’, they were doing a favour to the general public.<span style=""> </span>They prefer to keep their stock behind a counter.<span style=""> </span>That way, they know where everything is, and it keeps the customers in an orderly queue while they go and fetch things.<span style=""> </span>Of course they have convinced themselves, over the years, that this is providing a better and more personal service to their customer.<span style=""> </span>That’s great, but the whole system collapses when a shop gets two or (heaven forbid) even three customers. <span style=""> </span>The shopkeeper is still offering his personalised service by discussing the weather with the first customer when the third has persuaded themselves that they don’t really need whatever it was they came for, and abandons the idea completely.<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" >And the whole process comes to a complete stop if the customer is one of the many hundreds of thousands of foreigners on this island who don’t speak fluent Spanish.<span style=""> </span>It is excruciating to watch an exasperated German become increasingly red as he tries to explain that he needs a waterproof washer at the ‘ferreteria’ (hardware store).<span style=""> </span>His forefinger jabs in and out of a loop formed by the finger and thumb of his other hand, not dissimilar to a rude sign seen in playgrounds, made by giggling children. <span style=""> </span>Well, maybe there are some comedic consolations to the system!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" >Generally speaking, the older the area, the more entrenched is this attitude.<span style=""> </span>Such shops have become rare in the tourist dominated south, but are still common in the north.<span style=""> </span>But even there, they are becoming a dying breed.<span style=""> </span>‘<a href="http://www.tenerifenews.com/cms/front_content.php?client=1&lang=1&amp;amp;idcat=47&idart=2543">Tenerife News</a>’ reports on the hilarious misadventures of <span style=""> </span>‘FEDECO’, the association that binds these independent retailers in <st1:city st="on">Santa Cruz</st1:city>, <st1:place st="on">Tenerife</st1:place>’s capital. <span style=""> </span>The city is a stop over for cruise liners, who spew out their passengers onto the streets of <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Santa Cruz</st1:place></st1:city>, wallets stuffed with Euros. This is an affluent group, stir crazy from being cooped up on a ship with no mall in which to spend their wads of Euros: they’re desperate to part with their cash.<span style=""> </span>And of course they arrive on Sundays, or Saturday afternoons, when the whole city has shut up shop and gone home. <span style=""> </span>FEDECO refuse to open, despite their members going bankrupt left and right. <span style=""> </span>Indeed, they look at the bankruptcies blame them on the newer, out of town shopping centres. <span style=""> </span>They declare that it is unfair that these centres open during siesta times, and even on Sundays.<span style=""> </span>It is just too convenient for shoppers.<span style=""> </span>Meanwhile the cruise liners are not coming back, because their passengers are not content.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><i style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;">Yes, there are social issues to be taken into account.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>But the hard fact is: if it wasn’t for out of town centres, then a family like us, an hour’s drive away, would never buy anything up north. <span style=""> </span>I work Monday to Friday and I wake up late on Saturdays. <span style=""> </span>So if there were no out of town centres, then the north wouldn’t get any of my money at all.<span style=""> </span>And if <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Santa Cruz</st1:place></st1:city> bothered to open on Sundays, then we’d spend some there, too. <span style=""> </span>And we’re not alone.<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p> <span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><br /><span class="furltag"><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Shopping+in+Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Shopping in Tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Canary+Islands" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Canary Islands"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Canaries" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Canaries"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Duty+free+shopping+tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Duty free shopping tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Shopping+in+Lanzarote" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Shopping in Lanzarote"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Shopping+in+Fuerteventura" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Shopping in Fuerteventura"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Shopping+in+la+Palma" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Shopping in la Palma"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Shopping+in+Gran+Canaria" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Shopping in Gran Canaria"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=FEDECO" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for FEDECO"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=opening+hours" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for opening hours"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=trading+hours" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for trading hours"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=siesta" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for siesta"></a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1140294764635248372006-02-18T20:26:00.000+00:002006-02-27T02:35:05.710+00:00Just when you thought the blogosphere was safe!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/S5300008.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/200/S5300008.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />My daughter and I communicate across the few metres that separate our computers, via msn.<br /><br />She has just sent me a message to say that she has started her own blog. You’ll find it <a href="http://m00tw00t.blogspot.com/">here</a>, and if you enjoy a surreal and pythonesque sense of humour, then you’re well advised to take a peek.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1140047158127551492006-02-15T23:36:00.000+00:002006-02-17T12:49:30.733+00:00Valentines dinner<span style="font-family:arial;"><br />Today I have spent the day off work, convalescing from our Valentines dinner. I took my wife to one of <a href="http://www.molino-blanco.com/indexuk.htm">Tenerife’s better known restaurants</a>. Mainly middle aged couples. And, of course, a few older gentlemen, who seemed to be sharing the evening with their buxom young, faketan, blonde nieces. (How nice of them). </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I think it all went fine. Things are a bit vague. I remember the third bottle of wine. I remember the Mariachi singers. Yes… it’s starting to come back to me. They were around our table… big moustaches… toothy smiles… variously sized guitars… </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Oh no… I’m starting to remember! They were singing that really cheesy song, you know…</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >Yay-ay ay-yay, ay-yay amore</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">And then I remember we spontaneously joined in. Both of us… in chorus. With our own, alternative version... </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >My sister Belinda</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >Just pissed out the window</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >All over my brand new sombrero</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >Yay-ay ay-yay, ay-yay…</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">My wife and I burst into uproarious laughter. Strangely, nobody else seemed to find it quite as amusing. Eyebrows hit the ceiling and jaws crashed to the floor at all the tables around us. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">But at the time it didn’t seem to matter. The two of us were hugging each other, tears of laughter streaming down our cheeks. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Surely this is what Valentine’s Day is all about?</span><br /><br /><span class="furltag"><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=dining+out" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for dining out"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=valentines" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for valentines"></a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1139766600325693032006-02-12T17:33:00.000+00:002006-02-16T14:29:33.053+00:00At last, something useful: Tourist tips!!<span style="font-family:arial;">From the Google search queries that lead the innocent to this site, I see that some people drop by in search of useful holidaymaker type information about Tenerife. Oh dear. So far this has been crap for tourists.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">In an effort to redress the situation, I have resolved to try to write at least one useful post for tourists to Tenerife per month. So here goes…</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >February’s <span style="font-size:130%;">TENERIFE TOURIST TIPS</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Packing tips</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">Bring an umbrella. Preferably a big one, so a few soggy locals can hitch a lift under it.</span></li></ul><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">Bring a bucket. (not for sandcastles… your room is bound to have a leak).</span></li></ul><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">Bring suntan lotion. We are near the equator, if you are from up north, you will go pink in 2 hours. We think it's hilarious. You might not. </span></li></ul><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">Cut price airlines make money on excess baggage. The weight allowance is 3 G-strings. Bring heavy stuff on board with you. </span></li></ul><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">If you are coming at the end of the month, or beginning of March then pack fancy dress stuff. It’s CARNIVAL time!</span></li></ul><ul><li><span style="font-family: arial;">If you are a bloke... PLEEEASE leave your speedos / thong at home. I admit, this tip is more for our general wellbeing than yours, but have a heart.<br /></span></li></ul><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Shopping tips</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">If you buy a Rolex for 20 euros, do not be disappointed if it loses 10 minutes every hour.</span></li></ul><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Going out tips</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">The best food is not to be had in a beachside restaurant: Get off your arse and explore. Mail me if you tried somewhere really good.</span></li></ul><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">Don’t go to Mcdonalds.</span></li></ul><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">Don’t expect a disco to have people in it before 3am</span></li></ul><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Doing stuff tips</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">If you go up mount Teide, it’s bloody cold. No matter how hard you are, shorts and T shirt won’t do. Unless you’re from Newcastle, of course.</span></li></ul><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">The sun may be shining (normally), but the ocean is still the Atlantic. It’s cold. Go swim in a pool.</span></li></ul><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >General tips</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">Whatever it is, don’t expect it to happen too quickly.</span></li></ul><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">All timeshare scratch cards are winners. It’s not that surprising.</span></li></ul><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >Big Tips</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-family:arial;">Yes please. And tip everyone on the island, it puts them in a good mood.</span></li></ul><br /><span style="font-family: arial; font-style: italic;">Any additional words of wisdom you think should be imparted, let me know and I'll include it in my next batch of highly useful info for tourists. </span><br /><br /><span class="delicioustag" style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Tourist+tips" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Tourist tips"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Travel+tips" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Travel tips"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Holiday+tips" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Holiday tips"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/What+to+wear+in+Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for What to wear in Tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Tenerife+shopping+tips" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Tenerife shopping tips"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Tenerife+activity+tips" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Tenerife activity tips"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Tenerife+tips" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Tenerife tips"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Tenerife+weather" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Tenerife weather"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Tourist+tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Tourist tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Cut+price+airlines+tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Cut price airlines tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Cut+price+air+travel+tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Cut price air travel tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Eating+out+tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Eating out tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Restaurants+tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Restaurants tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Carnival" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Carnival"></a></span><br /><br /><span class="furltag" style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Tourist+tips" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Tourist tips"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Travel+tips" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Travel tips"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Holiday+tips" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Holiday tips"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=What+to+wear+in+Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for What to wear in Tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Tenerife+shopping+tips" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Tenerife shopping tips"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Tenerife+activity+tips" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Tenerife activity tips"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Tenerife+tips" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Tenerife tips"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Tenerife+weather" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Tenerife weather"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Tourist+tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Tourist tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Cut+price+airlines+tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Cut price airlines tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Cut+price+air+travel+tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Cut price air travel tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Eating+out+tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Eating out tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Restaurants+tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Restaurants tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Carnival" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Carnival"></a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1139702905527349262006-02-11T23:49:00.000+00:002006-02-12T00:08:25.540+00:00The Sun came back!!<span style="font-family:arial;"><br />What? You expect me to sit inside blogging? <br /></span><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/43146429@N00/98447857/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/33/98447857_a04984ef12_b.jpg" alt="yay sun back" height="768" width="1024" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: webdings;"></span></span><br /><span class="delicioustag"><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/humour" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for humour"></a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1139415815161191332006-02-08T16:07:00.000+00:002006-02-10T16:30:52.893+00:00Would you believe I moved here for the weather?<div style="text-align: center;font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size:130%;">It's pissing down again!</span><br /></div><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family:arial;">And according to Pamela at Secret Tenerife , the </span><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://www.secret-tenerife.com/2006/02/tranquil-in-tenerife-despite-high.shtml">media are broadcasting advice</a><span style="font-family:arial;"> to us weatherbeaten folk, including, "Stay away from the seafront and beach - 4 metre waves expected."<br /><br />Obviously the warnings slipped past these tourists, happily snapping pics of each other outside my office this afternoon.<br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/43146429@N00/97175043/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/25/97175043_0f53857419_b.jpg" alt="Los Cristianos 8th Feb 06" height="768" width="1024" /></a><br /></span> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10;" ><span class="technoratitag"><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for tenerife"> </a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/gran+canaria" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for gran canaria"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/fuerteventura" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for fuerteventura"> </a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/lanzarote" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for lanzarote"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/canaries" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for canaries"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/la+gomera" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for la gomera"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/el+hierro" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for el hierro"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/la+palma" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for la palma"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/canary+islands" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for canary islands"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/spain" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for spain"></a><a ref="http://www.technorati.com/tag/expat" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for expat"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/expatriate" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for expatriate"></a></span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10;" ><span class="delicioustag"><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/gran+canaria" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for gran canaria"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/fuerteventura" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for fuerteventura"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/lanzarote" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for lanzarote"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/canaries" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for canaries"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/la+gomera" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for la gomera"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/el+hierro" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for el hierro"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/la+palma" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for la palma"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/canary+islands" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for canary islands"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/spain" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for spain"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/expat" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for expat"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/expatriate" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for expatriate"></a></span><o:p></o:p></span></p><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Update: 2 hours later</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">Bloody hell!<br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/43146429@N00/97216278/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/21/97216278_799bb37ed1.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="more bloody rain!" /></a><br /></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1139270404916218302006-02-06T23:51:00.000+00:002006-02-09T09:57:50.576+00:00Ex Smoking Blues<span style="font-family:arial;">It’s been 888 hours since my last cigarette! That’s 37 days, or 16,473 pangs of desire for the delicious weed (make that 16,474). And I have to say that I do feel a bit conned by the ‘Stop Smoking’ lobby. Firstly I was supposed to stop craving the little lovelies (16,475) after a month. Clearly this has not happened. </span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/HIPPO3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/200/HIPPO3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;">Secondly I am supposed to feel more energetic and fit. No way. Definitely not. You may remember from my <a href="http://tenerifescribbler.blogspot.com/2006/01/how-to-give-up-smoking-in-tenerife.html">quit smoking strategy</a>, that my plan was to replace the </span><span style="font-family:arial;">nicotine with food. Well I have been assiduous in so doing. So </span><span style="font-family:arial;">much so that (as predicted in that post), I am indeed the weight of a small hippopotamus. </span><span style="font-family:arial;">Well, I was a 20 a day smoker… what do you expect? That’s a lot of meals! My trousers are all straining to contain me (I think this is why hippos are rarely seen in trousers), and I still puff at the top of the stairs. Admittedly this is not so much due to reduced lung capacity, but from the sheer effort of moving this new found bulk.<br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />But there are other benefits that I am supposed to have received. For instance food is supposed to taste nicer. Well, I can certainly vouch for it tasting more frequently, but nicer? Not really. Oh yes, and then there’s the improved sense of smell. I admit that my sense of smell has become more sensitive, but improved? Not on your nelly. I can smell every single foul and pongy thing within 100m. Yeuch. Give me back my numbed olfactory system, this super-sense is driving me nuts.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;">There’s also supposed to be a financial advantage. But again, I’m certain there’s not. Cigarettes in Tenerife are cheap. They cost next to nothing. They certainly cost less than my several daily meals and snack attacks that I have replaced them with. Non smoking is costing me money! </span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />So if you started reading this post, expecting the self satisfied, smug ramblings of an ex-smoker, I am sorry. This may be the first new year’s resolution that I have ever managed to keep for longer than a few hours, but there’s no feeling of achievement. Just the nagging feeling that I’ve been sold something that doesn’t do what it’s supposed to, but I can’t take it back to the shop because I’d feel too stupid, or embarrassed returning it…</span><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial;">I have talked to smokers who have given up before, sometimes for long periods, and then been drawn back by the seductive charms of the little white sticks (16,475).<span style=""> </span>When I ask them why, they shuffle their feet a lot and look down at the ground.<span style=""> </span>They are torn between their taste for tobacco and the social pressure that made them stop.<span style=""> </span>And because the general view is that starting again must be symptomatic of a weak mind, they are shamed into this position of shoe shuffling. <span style=""> </span>Therefore it seems to me that it takes great bravery and strength of mind to surmount these social pressures and start smoking again!<span style=""> </span>By God, these are modern day heroes!<o:p><br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial;">My wife says I’m full of crap.<span style=""></span><o:p><br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial;">16,476… 7… 8… bloody hell.</span><br /></p><span style="font-family:arial;">So I can’t start smoking again. And now I am going to have to do something about the eating, or else buy a complete new wardrobe. And I hate shopping, especially for clothes. </span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />There’s nothing else for it. I am going to have to go on a girly diet. I have never been on a diet before, but I am sure that it is definitely a girly thing to do, because I have only heard females admitting to it or talking about it. Wait… I need to consult my wife (she is female, thus an expert).<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;">…!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">No… surely not?</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!</span><br /><span class="furltag"><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Non+smoking" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Non smoking"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=non+smoker" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for non smoker"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=quit+smoking" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for quit smoking"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=cheap+cigarettes" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for cheap cigarettes"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=Cost+of+cigarettes+in+Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for Cost of cigarettes in Tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.furl.net/furled.jsp?topic=nicotine+craving" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Furl Tag category for nicotine craving"></a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1139085134640067782006-02-04T20:21:00.000+00:002006-02-15T17:09:37.333+00:00Embarrassing my wife<span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" >Throughout my many years of marriage, there have always been particular articles of clothing that have become points of contention.<span style=""> </span>For instance, there was the maroon cardigan (actually maroon doesn’t do it justice, it was more the colour of a Dunhill cigarette packet).<span style=""> </span>I loved that cardigan.<span style=""> </span>And OK, it had a bit of a hole on the elbow, but nothing a good patch wouldn’t have fixed.<span style=""> </span>It was my favourite article of clothing.<span style=""> </span>And my wife hated it.<span style=""> </span>She said that only really old grandads, with pipes and tufts of white hair coming out of their ears, could wear cardigans like that.<span style=""> </span>I was 25, and apparently didn’t qualify.<span style=""> </span>With a devil-may-care attitude to fashion, I wore it as often as I could.<span style=""> </span>The elbow hole grew bigger, and was matched by one on the other side.<span style=""> </span>Strangely, this embarrassed my wife, and she often complained and even hid it several times, but to no avail.<span style=""> </span>I thought that that cardigan was totally cool.<span style=""> </span>I still would be wearing it, if only I could find it, but of course it went mysteriously missing many years ago.<span style=""> </span>My wife claimed she knew nothing of the disappearance, but naturally I suspect otherwise.<o:p><br /></o:p></span> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" >Since then, we have had other fashion disagreements.<span style=""> </span>There’s my really cool batik shirt from <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Indonesia</st1:place></st1:country-region>, for instance.<span style=""> </span>Bright reds, yellows and all sorts of other colours, it’s brill!<span style=""> </span>My wife will not be seen dead with me wearing that one in public.<o:p><br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" >And another example from yesterday.<span style=""> </span>“Oh pleeease not that orange shirt,” said my wife, as I tried to make an escape out of the door, before she saw me.<span style=""> </span>“You’ll just look like a great big, bright blob!”<span style=""> </span><br />“Don’t worry,” I replied.<span style=""> </span>“No meetings today… and all I’m doing is setting up an exhibition, so no one’s going to see me.”<span style=""></span><br />“But…”<br />“And there aren’t any more shirts ironed, and I’m late!”<span style=""> </span>I forestalled further protest with a kiss and a big grin and bolted out of the door.<o:p> </o:p><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" >Off to work I went, set up the exhibition stand and returned home.<span style=""> </span>And that was that.<span style=""> </span>Or so I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p></o:p>Today, after attending the exhibition, I returned home to my wife’s raised eyebrow.<span style=""> </span>“So no one saw you in the silly looking shirt yesterday, huh?”<br />“Hardly a soul,” I replied.<br />She handed me a copy of <a href="http://www.diariodeavisos.com/diariodeavisos/content/67378/">today’s Diario de Avisos</a>, a local <st1:place st="on">Tenerife</st1:place> newspaper, finger stabbing at an article about the exhibition.<br />“And who’s this blurry blob in the photo then?”</span><br /></p><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/60767_w336.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/320/60767_w336.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Photo courtesy <a href="http://www.diariodeavisos.com/diariodeavisos/content/67378//template/22/">Diario de Avisos</a><br /></div><br /><span class="technoratitag"><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for Tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Embarrassing+fashion" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for Embarrassing fashion"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Diario+de+Avisos" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for Diario de Avisos"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Sal%C3%B3n+de+la+Vivienda+y+la+Propiedad+de+Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for Salón de la Vivienda y la Propiedad de Tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/marriage" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for marriage"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/wife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for wife"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/exhibition" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for exhibition"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/marital+life" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for marital life"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/humour" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for humour"></a></span><br /><span class="delicioustag"><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Embarrassing+fashion" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Embarrassing fashion"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Diario+de+Avisos" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Diario de Avisos"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Sal%C3%B3n+de+la+Vivienda+y+la+Propiedad+de+Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Salón de la Vivienda y la Propiedad de Tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/marriage" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for marriage"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/wife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for wife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/exhibition" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for exhibition"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/marital+life" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for marital life"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/humour" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for humour"></a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1138998936319351952006-02-03T20:00:00.000+00:002006-02-03T20:35:36.386+00:00sitting and watching the world go by...<span style="font-family:arial;">Canarians on all of the islands certainly have one thing in common. They love to sit on their balconies, or at their windows, and watch the world go by. And Tenerife is no exception. I snapped this little chap in Puerto de la Cruz yesterday.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/S5300016.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/400/S5300016.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span class="technoratitag" style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Canarian" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for Canarian"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for Tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Canary+islands" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for Canary islands"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/Puerto+de+la+Cruz" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for Puerto de la Cruz"></a></span><span class="delicioustag" style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Canarian" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Canarian"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Canary+islands" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Canary islands"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/Puerto+de+la+Cruz" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for Puerto de la Cruz"></a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1138925858720861592006-02-02T23:41:00.000+00:002006-02-15T18:09:33.260+00:00(Not) Smoking in Tenerife<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/cig%20protest.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/320/cig%20protest.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;">Since the introduction of the new <a href="http://www.tenerifenews.com/cms/front_content.php?client=1&lang=1&idcat=8&idart=3194">anti-smoking laws</a> in January, going out for a drink or a meal has taken on a whole new meaning. The outside of some bars can be far more crowded than the inside, simply because you can smoke out there. So going ‘out’ for a drink must now be much more literally interpreted. It mainly involves standing outside bars and sitting outside restaurants.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">If you’re familiar with this blog, <a href="http://tenerifescribbler.blogspot.com/2006/01/how-to-give-up-smoking-in-tenerife.html">then you’ll know that I don't smoke </a>(1 month now, crikey!), but my wife does, as do friends and colleagues. Now I tend to go to a bar in order to be sociable. I don’t tend to stand and drink by myself, nor do I sit and eat alone. So if I want to talk to anyone, I find myself outside too. And at night, it can get pretty bloody chilly, even here in Tenerife. I can’t help thinking that I am freezing my nether regions off, without getting any recompense. This law may well drive me back to smoking, because it seems to me, if I have to stand out there, I may as well be getting the benefit of enjoying a smoke.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Pamela Heywood, in Secret Tenerife, suggests that the <a href="http://www.secret-tenerife.com/2006/02/price-war-over-spanish-cigarettes.shtml">smallest bars may now be doing an about face and allowing smoking</a>. But, as I understand it, any larger than 100 customer capacity, and the bar/restaurant needs to have a separate, air tight, vacuum packed area for smokers. Which is, of course, rare! So any bar of any size is non smoking. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The most amusing repercussion of this law that I can share is from the partyland of Las Americas. Lambert & Butler, the ciggie brand, sponsor a regular evening at one bar where they hand out free fags, T shirts and merchandising. However, the bar they do this in is now non smoking. So the promo girls hand out their free sample packs of cigs to the eager punters. And then they’re are closely followed by bouncers waving threatening fingers at the recipients of the freebies “If you’re gonna smoke that mate, you’re gonna do it outside!”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Perhaps they should forget putting the logo on T shirts and instead choose some warmer articles of clothing for their clientele. I’m sure, nowadays, that Lambert & Butler scarves, gloves and anoraks would go down much better.</span><br /><span class="technoratitag"><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for tenerife"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/smoking+laws" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for smoking laws"></a><a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/anti-smoking" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for anti-smoking"></a></span><br /><span class="delicioustag"><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/tenerife" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for tenerife"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/smoking+laws" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for smoking laws"></a><a href="http://del.icio.us/tag/anti-smoking" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Del.icio.us Tag category for anti-smoking"></a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1138753920803593362006-02-01T00:16:00.000+00:002006-02-03T17:33:34.086+00:00Canarian Culture<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/Flag_of_the_Canary_Islands.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/200/Flag_of_the_Canary_Islands.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;">Having lived in a few of the Canary Islands for the last few years, I can confirm that not only do the islands look different, the people from each island are all also distinct, and vehemently consider themselves so.<br /><br />For a start, they are not Spanish. Oh no, don’t make that mistake! In fact my favourite bit of graffiti is written on a wall in the port of Arrecife, in Lanzarote. It says…</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;" ><br />SPANIS GO HOME</span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I love it because it makes me stop and wonder who the bloody hell is it written for? If it is directed at the mainland Spanish ‘occupiers’… why is it written in English? Why is it spelt wrong? The mind boggles.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">And to underline this, in common with other regions, <a href="http://www.secret-tenerife.com/2006/01/canary-islands-mp-demands-same-statute.shtml">the Canarians are lobbying for greater autonomy from central government</a>. But let’s not get bogged down in such politics, because in my experience, there’s not really much of an actual ‘Canarian’ identity anyway (except when arguing with the Spanish). Why? Well the islands themselves are split into two administrative areas… governed by Santa Cruz (Tenerife, La Gomera, El Hierro, La Palma), and Las Palmas (Gran Canaria, Fuerteventura, Lanzarote). And oh boy, can these two squabble. From the basic “My one’s bigger than yours”, the annual carnival argument, to the disbursement of funds… basically anything they can argue about, they will. Local politics is quite a laugh.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/Canary-map.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/320/Canary-map.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">But if you think that a grasp of this dualistic Canarian identity will stand you in good stead to understand local culture, think again! Each of those seven islands I mentioned is populated by people with their own identities. A bit of history now (my oh my, this is an educational post, I hope you’re taking notes). Before the Spanish colonised the islands, each island had their own indigenous tribes. The Guanches were originally the inhabitants of Tenerife. The inhabitants of Fuerteventura and Lanzarote were referred to as Maxos, Gran Canaria was inhabited by the Canarii… and the islanders still have their own names: Tinerfeños (Tenerife), Majoreros (Fuerteventura), Conejeros (Lanzarote… which is a bit of an odd one, because it means ‘rabbit breeder’), Grancanarios, Gomeros, Palmeros and Herreños. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Phew!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">And since the early 15th Century, with the Spanish ruling, you would have thought these identities would have become diluted. But no, on the contrary, in recent years they have become even more prevalent. The most obvious reason for this is probably the newer waves of immigration from the mainland, islanders want to remain distinct from the newcomers. But along with the influx of mainlanders has come mass settlement of other foreigners from Africa, South America and Europe. As a group, we foreigners are called ‘Guiris’ – yet another tribe! And as the islands become increasingly cosmopolitan, those who claim an indigenous lineage become increasingly concerned to maintain their identity. And so they should. The same threat of homogeny is a global epidemic. These islanders are not alone in this struggle.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">But working against this is the economic impetus to develop markets, trade and develop one of the most successful tourist industries in the world, with over 10 million tourists a year visiting the islands. The ability to compete globally requires the very homogeny that erodes the culture. Steering this convoy of small islands is no easy task and will always be one of compromise between islands, cultures and economic growth. And so far, they have done exceedingly well at plotting their way through the minefield.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">As an expatriate resident, it is easy to forget or ignore the grand design, the big issues. But occasionally it’s worth a reminder. And having done so, I can now go back to sitting in the sun drinking my beer (Dorada in Tenerife, but Tropical in Gran Canaria… and don’t even think of asking which one’s better!), gazing out at the blue ocean and thanking god I’m not freezing my balls off in England.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="technoratitag"> <a href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/fuerteventura" target="_blank" rel="tag" title="Link to Technorati Tag category for fuerteventura"></a> </span><br /><br /><span class="delicioustag"> </span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1138492487289058032006-01-28T23:39:00.000+00:002006-01-29T01:36:56.773+00:00English thug beats up innocent Canarian!<span style="font-family:arial;">Oh my God! I am sooo ashamed. Having been delighted and impressed by the altruism of our island hosts, in my last post, it grieves me to report that it is one of my own who has shattered this cosy state of affairs. </span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/S5300019.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/320/S5300019.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;">The picture on the right shows the English thug in question, eight years old (should know better), Spike has had tolerance issues since he was a mere kitten. Perhaps it was the London streets where he was born, or the suburban green belt where he spent his formulative years, stalking sparrows and baiting the neighbourhood dogs… but Spike has always been a scrapper. And since coming to the Canary Islands, he has not improved. In Lanzarote, our neighbours called him Tarzan. Here in Tenerife they don’t call him at all. In fact dog walkers cross the road to avoid him: he likes calmly to sit on the wall and look contemptuously down at their pets, while they furiously bark back at him. Forget horse whispering, this cat has an uncanny, telepathic connection with dogs... he can piss them off with just a swish of his tail.</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />This time, his victim was a sweet, small, black and white puddy tat who only came to borrow something from our dustbin. The local cats are smaller than their English cousins and generally quite timid. Cuffed around the ear by Spike, the poor little thing was off like a shot, and never to be seen again. The aggressor sauntered back into the house and curled up on the sofa to continue his afternoon nap, as if nothing had happened. No shame. No apology.</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Brutal, huh?</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/S5300008.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/320/S5300008.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1138312665216113472006-01-26T21:33:00.000+00:002006-02-14T22:56:54.206+00:00The Gofiosfera<span style="font-family:arial;">Well, I’m really chuffed this evening. This blog now officially exists in the ‘<a href="http://www.magacin66.com/taller/?p=4">Gofiosfera</a>’… er, I suppose we’d call it the ‘Gofiosphere’… but perhaps a more detailed explanation is required.<br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/gofio.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/320/gofio.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Gofio is sort of flour made from toasted cereal that was originally used by the Guanche people (who came to Tenerife even before the tourists) as a staple in their cooking. It is still used in local cuisine, flavoured with stock and herbs and stuff. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br /><br /><br />So the Gofiosfera is the Canarian blogosphere, an expanding community of bloggers from Tenerife, Gran Canaria, la Palma, el Hierro, la Gomera, Fuerteventura and Lanzarote. And the reason why I’m chuffed is because they have been so generous as to include this blog, in which there is hardly a word of Spanish scribbled. And I didn't even have to beg. How nice of them!</span><br /><br /><span class="technoratitag"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"> </span><span style="font-family:arial;"> </span><span style="font-family:arial;"> </span><span style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1138230914469420532006-01-25T23:04:00.000+00:002006-01-25T23:15:14.493+00:00Raining in Tenerife<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/tfrain.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/320/tfrain.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"> It’s not supposed to rain in the Canaries. These are islands blessed with year round sun… or at least that’s what I write continuously in all the articles that I churn out in my real life, daytime incarnation. The truth is, though, it rains every year around this time. And every year, expats and Canarians alike are all equally surprised. Here in the south of Tenerife, we are more ill prepared than the North, where rain is comparably frequent. Our houses are not built to be waterproof. From the oldest ‘casa terrera’, to the newest concrete marvel, water floods through every roof. Our roads are not drained. Every dip means, quite literally a dip! We have a tendency to build new housing developments in dried up riverbeds, only to be surprised when they suddenly fill up with water. Oh it’s all such fun!</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />And then there’s the annual game we play with the tourists:</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Tourist (looking at sky, dismayed and surprised): “Does it normally rain here?”</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br />Resident (accusing expression): “No, never. You must have brought it with you.”</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br />Tourist (crestfallen and guilty, meekly replies): “Oh… sorry.”</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Oh how we love to play with their minds. </span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />And now I think about tourists and rain, I have to note that they’re a curious bunch. They lie on the beach in their swimming togs. It rains. They all run off the beach, shielding themselves from the rain with their towels. Are they not wearing waterproof swimming costumes? Strange.</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Personally, I rather appreciate the rain. I have lived on the Islands for five or six years, so I don’t mind the change in climate at all. And it gives my increasingly decrepit car an annual wash. Inside and out. Because of course, like everything here, the roof leaks.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1138107475450467452006-01-24T12:53:00.000+00:002006-01-24T14:46:04.970+00:00Scribbles from Tenerife: A new slogan!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/bush_osama.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/320/bush_osama.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"> Having <a href="http://uk.news.yahoo.com/24012006/175/osama-s-bedtime-reading-makes-amazon-top-50.html">read</a> that “RogueState: A Guide to the World's Only Superpower” has shot from the sub 200,000th region up to the top 50 best sellers on Amazon Books because Osama Bin Laden said it’s a decent read, I have been toying with promoting this blog through such celebrity endorsement. </span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Totting up my earnings from google adsense (almost $4.00), I realise that most celebrities may be a little out of my budget. Furthermore, the lack of political conviction, calls to jihad and fundamentalist fervour expressed in this blog is unlikely to attract the attention of Osama… so I have to look for a new angle on this. Clearly, I am not going to get away with a claim like “Bin Laden reads Scribbles from Tenerife”. I don’t think Tenerife is high on his list of favourite holiday destinations. (Hmmm… come to think of it, you never know! After all, they did unearth a Croatian war criminal here the other week! Note to self: pay closer attention to people’s faces on the street, there are some large rewards to be had!) Also, admirers of the aforementioned Mr Bin Laden are not necessarily going to take kindly to being faced with my mindless drivel when they were hoping for a healthy bit of anti-American fanaticism. </span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />After some intense deliberation whilst supping my coffee this morning, I have finally cracked it! I will use George Bush. As far as I can see, on the net, Bush is the singularly most unpopular character in the known world at the moment. Therefore, it seems to me that there is a lot of kudos to be gained by saying, (small trumpet fanfare, if you please)…<br /><br /></span> <div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" >“George Bush does NOT read Scribbles from Tenerife”</span></span> </div> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br />In this way, I should be able to attract the anti-Bush contingent (about 90% of the population), and yet avoid the potential fatwa that the Bin Laden claim may have encouraged. So there it is. My blog now has a slogan. I can sit back, watch the hit counter go ballistic and the google gold roll in.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1137801743213376862006-01-20T23:54:00.000+00:002006-01-21T01:13:59.426+00:00Tenerife: South vs North<span style="font-family:arial;"> Like many countries and Islands, Tenerife has a north – south divide. In this case it's separated by Spain’s highest and most imposing mountain: Teide. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The south has better weather, more sunny days: a warmer climate and less rain. Consequently, the south is where the tourists flock in greater numbers. Tourist towns cling to the southern coastline, concrete complexes populated by pink people smothered in suntan lotions. Full English breakfasts and burgers jostle with Chinese ‘eat as much as you want’ buffets and fish ‘n’ chips. A stroll along southern promenades is interrupted by timeshare touts desperately scratching together their commission by proffering ‘prize winning’ scratch-cards to anyone they can find with a visa card. The predominant language is English with a smattering of German and Dutch. The ‘lookie-lookie’ men speak all three as they work the restaurant tables with their Arnani sunglasses and Ropex watches. Bazaars overflow with Moroccan leather and ‘lovely jubbly’ salesmen, the perfect place to pick up your Praba handbag for less than €20. And weaving drunkenly through it all, the package holiday <a href="http://www.secret-tenerife.com/2006/01/can-bar-crawls-be-sophisticated.shtml">bar crawlers</a> shout their ‘ogi ogi ogi’s’ to numbed bartenders till the sun rises and the fun starts again.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">But now in the south, the winds of change are blowing. The timeshare crimelords no longer dominate the local economy, superseded by slick estate agents and corporate business. Five star hotels are springing up, with private security firms to keep the touts and hawkers at bay. Manicured stretches of promenade replace the battered beachfronts. New shopping centres boast retail outlets where products spell their designer names in more conventional ways than their predecessors used to. Restaurants serve foie gras instead of fry ups… Tenerife has even made the <a href="http://property.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,14052-1875291,00.html">Times</a>, who call it the ‘makeover island’… a far cry from the articles of yore that were found exclusively in the gutter press. The south is crawling out of that gutter.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">While this metamorphosis is overtaking the south of island, the north remains immune to such evolution. Originally settled by the Spanish back in the days when the island was the trading stop-over from the new world, a completely different atmosphere pervades these more fertile and verdant slopes. Rain brings life to this region, vines bear grapes that produce the island’s wines, farms flourish with fresh produce. The original settlers were not sun seeking tourists, but real people who survived and prospered. They are still alive in the architecture they leave and in the faces of their descendants. The character of the towns and cities in the north is much more genteel, more sophisticated. Not for them are the foibles of fashion that remould the south. These towns were the original tourist destinations, but not for the charter masses of today. This was the exclusive getaway for an affluent Victorian to winter. Here, there is tradition, stability… ah but no, I speak of the past. Here is tragedy. Here the process of modernisation is not one of improvement. The old fincas are making way to housing developments and the unrelenting process of urbanisation has blurred the borders of towns and villages until it is all becoming one suburban sprawl. The old are nostalgic and the young are full of property price rises and investment opportunities.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">But, ever the optimist, I know that this desecration cannot last. Like the rape of the environment in the south, there must be a reversal, a rethink. Soon must come a time when the value of the north’s inheritance will be realised, and as in the south, change will be for the better. And when it happens, I have every confidence that the north will reclaim its pride and splendour, and once again will become the envy of the Canary Islands. Until that time, the north still has many, many treasures to offer those who are inclined to look for them. And for those without the time or motivation to explore, then the south can pamper and cosset in multi-starred luxury… and maybe even flog you a genuine Chamel pair of shoes.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1137288581212336002006-01-15T01:19:00.000+00:002006-01-22T19:12:01.723+00:00How to give up smoking in Tenerife<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/1600/S5300029.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1520/1980/200/S5300029.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family: arial;"> I have developed a general health strategy for 2006. Having smoked my last cigarette at 11:59:59 pm on New Year’s Eve, I have spent the year, so far, trying my hardest to deal with my frequent cravings for the evil weed. And Tenerife is no easy place to give up: everybody here smokes. Unlike the UK, where the cost of a carton of cigarettes is equivalent to a small family car, here it is possible to pick up 200 smokes for next to nothing. So there has been no local financial incentive to quit the habit. Indeed, in the Canary Islands, it is nicotine patches that are extortionate.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">So as my wife puffs a cigarette after her leftover turkey sandwich, I am still struggling with my own cold turkey as pangs of nicotine desire coarse through my every fibre. Fortunately I have found a method of dealing with it. I eat. I eat constantly, and I cannot stop eating. Because if I do stop, then I will get the ‘after meal’ craving for a smoke. So my solution is to never reach the end of a meal, at least until the cravings stop. January will be one, long lunch.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">I have been told that the nicotine cravings should stop by the end of this month. By which time, I estimate that I will weigh about the same as a small hippopotamus. And this is where the second stage of my 2006 health strategy will kick in. My plan for February will be to kick the eating habit and lose weight. My sister in law reliably informs me that wine will assist in breaking down fat, and indeed a constant state of inebriation is a great way to not be in the mood to eat. Therefore my intention is to survive on a predominately liquid diet to sustain me through the month. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">In March my plan is to beat the alcoholism that I will undoubtedly be a victim of. I have yet to research this thoroughly, but I understand that the regular use of intravenous class ‘A’ drugs tends to diminish alcohol dependency. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">April will be a challenging month, of course, and at this point my research reaches its limits. I don’t doubt that there will be an adequate substitute for whatever class ‘A’ drug I will have become addicted to, but even if there isn’t… hey, who cares? I will have managed to give up smoking.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19907611.post-1137253917870875472006-01-14T15:49:00.000+00:002006-01-14T18:33:19.586+00:00Cheers! Ziveli! Salud!<span style="font-family:arial;"> Multiculturalism is great, but a real strain on both the brain and the liver. It’s 14th January, and therefore New Year’s day according to my wife, who’s roots wander back to Eastern Europe. Still running on the Julian calendar, she celebrated the orthodox Christmas on 7th January. The day previously, the 6th, we naturally bowed to local Tenerife (and Spanish) custom, by observing the fiesta of Three Kings Day. We had barely recovered from the Gregorian New year’s day on the 1st of January… or rather the excesses of the 31st. And of course there was the traditional Christmas and boxing day on the 25th and 26th of December.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">So between the period from, say Christmas Eve (the ‘normal’ one on the 24th), till now … just 3 weeks… we have managed to empty over 25 bottles of wine (including a few Cavas and Champagnes), 2 bottles of Vodka, 2 Baileys, 2 Brandy, half a bottle of Scotch and half a bottle of Arehucas (local rum). Oh yes and a heap of beer, and a bottle of Amaretto. That’s the (rather diligent) work of three adults – my wife, her sister and I. And that still doesn’t really cover it, because we have been out to meals and sunk wines and liqueurs at each one, we’ve been out dancing (innumerable vodka redbulls), and we’ve propped up the odd bar every now and then. We have been thoroughly marinated.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not boasting. Calculating this lot is quite frankly, shocking. I am eagerly awaiting the teetotal period that can legitimately start tomorrow. No more fiestas with compulsory drinking until… well I’m not that sure, but for a while at least. And with that in mind, I am off down to the supermarcado for a couple more bottles of wine in order to toast on the Julian year and the impending dry patch!</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4246232956321389";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel ="";
//--></script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>Tenerife Scribblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11991131900716783618noreply@blogger.com0